As I mentioned in a couple recent posts, I thought visitors might appreciate answers to the questions I am most frequently asked.  In my last post, I answered the #1 question I’m asked—What is a life coach?

Today, I explain—Who are my clients, and what are they like?

To me, there seem to be two defining characteristics in the people who have chosen to work with me.  I believe strongly that these two characteristics, in combination, are what deliver these people to an arena of courage, hope, and fulfillment–Life Coaching.

Motivation

Motivation describes the energy found in the gap between the reality of what is and the vision of what could be.  It’s tough to change, and it can be a lot of work.  That’s why we often remain in discomfort.  Sometimes, though, the discomfort grows and a brighter and brighter future is envisioned.  The energy builds in that gap, until it is redirected from accepting an unsatisfying present to working to create the change toward a fulfilling future.

It is natural to have wishes and dreams.  Our goals and aspirations can be great motivators.  In our lives, though, when we don’t reach our goals, or as life seems to block the roads to our dreams, we can get discouraged.  Not all at once—but little by little, as we add up these seeming defeats on the tally sheet in our minds.  We lose sight of two important things: first, it is not the destination that matters, but what we learn and gain through the journey; and second, it is not ours to know when the journey has ended.  A quote I like from The Best Exotic Marigold  Hotel offers,

“Everything will be all right in the end; and if it’s not all right, then it is not yet the end.”

Our culture is extremely goal-oriented.  We are asked what we do for a living, what we drive, or where we live.  We don’t take the time to ask people what matters to them, what makes them smile, and what are the amazing experiences in their life.  Even if we ask the question, “How are you?”—do we take the time to listen to their answer?

My clients have contacted me when they’ve become aware of their loss of motivation.  They recognize where discouragement has replaced motivation and interrupted their goal-setting.  They want to rediscover the excitement they once felt when taking that first step on a journey of discovery.  They want to tap into the energy of the gap; free themselves to envision their fulfilling future.

Self-Belief

We need to believe in ourselves to be able to persevere through tough times.  Again, I believe our culture has affected how we think of ourselves.  Focus on success versus failure and constant comparison with others devalues the characteristics that I feel are necessary to achieving long-term fulfillment: namely vulnerability, compassion, creativity, and resilience.

When we fear being seen as a failure, we stop risking and exploring.  Again, we try to tolerate an unsatisfying present rather than risk greater failure by seeking a different future.  Innovation and invention are lost, because we don’t dare risk building and creating something that doesn’t work.  We don’t express ourselves artistically and creatively, fearing others may judge us harshly.  We see criticism all around us, and we make choices to avoid being judged by others.  Many times, the voices and words of others become our own defeating self-talk.

My clients have self-belief.  Sometimes they don’t even know it.  But I know this—even if they worry about what others think (honestly, who doesn’t?), even if they have a lot of negative self-talk, and even if they have been making choices to avoid judgment and potential failure—when they contact me, it’s because something essential, inside them, has spoken about wanting more and deserving more, and they have heard it.  They may not know what to do about it, or what it means, but when they reach out to me, they are already reaching out from their heart to their true self.

Conclusion

So, who are my clients?  When I am contacted for life coaching, I know the person reaching out to me has heard her/his heart seeking its true purpose, and s/he has tapped into the energy of the gap and is motivated to earnestly move toward her/his desired future.  It’s a beautiful, fun thing.  I am blessed to be a part of a person’s journey toward her/his truest self.