Being a Good Caddie

A GOLFING ATTITUDE

This is another post in an ongoing series that applies coaching attitudes, tools, and techniques to golf.  Which, I believe, can be a great metaphor for life.

What if a friend asked you to be his caddie in a golf tournament? Certainly you would want to assist in calculating distances, gauging wind, selecting clubs, and discussing strategy.  All in the interest of supporting his efforts, right?

And, when we hear the dialogue between professional golfers and their caddies, one thing is consistent. The caddies do their best to get their golfer fully committed and believing in himself and his shot.  Whatever the golfer is going to attempt, the caddie usually leaves him with final words like “you’ve got this,” or “that’s the one!”

Would you berate your friend for mishitting a shot, nag him about how many putts he’s left short, or complain about some shanks he’s hit or drives he’s sliced out-of-bounds? Or would you focus on helping him to stay positive and in the moment, encouraging him to “put a good swing on it” or “roll it to the back of the jar?”

Why is it that some things we would never do to others, we still give ourselves permission to do to ourselves? Hit a couple putts off-line, and we’re telling ourselves we’ll never make a putt.  Lose some drives left or right, and we’re voicing doubt whether we’ll ever hit a fairway.  Pull a couple approaches, and we tell ourselves we stink (or worse!), and we’ll never save par.

Now, lots of people tell me they don’t believe negative self-talk hurts. Personally, I just don’t believe that.  The way I see it, what we are saying to ourselves we are also hearing.  The negative self-talk keeps doubt in our mind.  That affects our stress and attitude.  Then our posture changes; we try to control our swing; and our body dynamics get tight and restricted.  Getting negative only compounds our problems on the course.

More to the point, though: When does getting negative ever help?

Of course, I believe this to also be true in life. When does telling yourself over and over that you are no good at your job help you do your job better?  Does muttering to yourself “I’m so stupid” ever make you feel better or perform better?  Like on the course, staying positive and in the moment creates an environment that encourages the best possible outcome.  But, best outcomes don’t always happen.  Nevertheless, for the next moment, and the next outcome, I believe it’s still true that creating and sustaining a positive environment is the best way to encourage great outcomes.

We can only play one shot at a time. Wherever your ball lies, play your next shot with a clear head and committed swing.  Be a good caddie to yourself.  It will only help.