Greetings Day, and Greetings Great Spirit!
Yesterday was nice – a needed day of rest and recovery. My goal was to exhale and expand a little, into the open space of my day. I got outside and walked, I wrote, and I got to some household chores and paperwork. I really enjoyed all that, and feel satisfied as I reflect.
This morning, though, I do feel like my tank is not full. I’m up early, because I go to work early. (Of course, that kind of thing is all relative.)
A benefit to the early day is the time I’ll have this evening. The rhythm of the day is like the tempo of a song, and I’m just going to try and dance along.
I don’t have a straight-line idea of where my writing is going to go this morning. I’m attributing that to being tired. It’s a great opportunity, though, for me to remember that this isn’t about me, and that I’m not the composer of this symphony.
It’s something I plan to come back to again and again; especially in this project of sharing what I write with readers. It’s really easy for me to get self-conscious and critical – “Oh my! What will they think if I say that? I could say that better; it’s not very clear. Is this worth writing? If I share this, what will they think of me?”
Feeling vulnerable. Being authentic. Showing up as much the student as the teacher. Getting stuck, and hopefully getting unstuck.
Yesterday, I discussed my notion of being a trailblazer – listening to your truth and following your inner compass. And, I shared how that can seem hard.
Does that seem unfair? Do you feel like you were promised at some point that life should be easy? Or, at least, easier?
How can life be challenging and take (a lot) of effort, yet be rewarding, and flow, and feel easy?
Can that all be true?
I first think about how I learned to play as a child. Really, I imagine, going back to learning to walk, or even crawl. Have you ever watched a baby first navigating getting vertical, figuring out balance, using muscles in new ways, playing with a whole new center of gravity? They sometimes get these serious looks of deep concentration, and then their faces can light up with pure joy and delight!
And, that fall. A lot! And, they usually go right back to trying to figure this new world out. They aren’t thinking that it’s too hard; that it should be easier. They are engrossed in this new puzzle, curious to play and master this new world.
I sometimes wonder how many of us would learn to walk or tie our shoes, if we were conscious of how many times we failed and fell down trying to figure it out.
Curiosity, play, and a willingness to fall can fuel us through most anything we’re interested to learn.
I think our ego, our awareness of ourselves, often gets in our way. We get self-conscious; worrying about what others are thinking each time we fall. That concern makes our falls less acceptable, and we become impatient with ourselves. Then, our process of curiosity, play, and trial-and-error instead becomes struggle.
Why do you do the things you do? Have you ever stopped to consider that question?
Now, that’s the entryway to a deeper subject that I’m not going to tackle right now. But, consider – the things that you do – is there a part of you that does them simply because they delight you? Are there things you’ve always wanted to try, just out of curiosity?
So often, in our adult, grown-up world, we stop following and investigating our curiosities, because we feel we wouldn’t be instant masters, and learning would be “too much” work. And, even then, we wouldn’t be “good enough.”
I also know plenty of people who sing doodle, paint, tell stories, run, cycle, hike, and even brew their own beer, simply because they are curious, and it fills them with delight!
Sometimes it’s hard to find the time, energy, and confidence to blaze trails to you curiosities. Do it anyway, and Find Your Delight!
Thinking of you, Dad, on your Birthday! Thanks for being here, with me! Onward!
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