Welcome, Great Spirit!
Thank you for joining me for another day and another journey. Each day, each moment holds potential to discover something wonderful. The practice of these pages helps remind me of that, helps me stay mindful and tuned in to the beauty and kindness in the world.
Joy once told me about a family that, each night at dinner, each person would share something special that had happened in their day. It seems this ritual had an unexpected effect – as they walked through their entire day, they were constantly watching for something beautiful, wonderful, or moving.
What happens when we practice gratitude; when we take time to notice the blessings in our life? (Even if it means just being thankful a pen didn’t wind up in the wash).
We begin to see the world in a new way, from a new perspective. We see space, rather than being overwhelmed. We notice time, rather than always rushing. We see moments of kindness and humanity, rather than just competition and a rat race. We see beauty and miracle, in our world and our lives.
I once had a crazy, impossible dream – to be a peaceful soul. I can’t explain how far-fetched I believed that dream to be. All the fear, frustration, and emotion I held inside set my heart and mind on a constant roller coaster ride. I believed that not only was that normal, but that it was absolutely instinctual and automatic.
To be a peaceful soul seemed like a fairy tale in my life. I thought there were rigid rules of right versus wrong, and I was constantly upset about violations to those rules. I feared negative judgment and disapproval, but often reacted with my own, as a defense and protection.
I can see now how I lived my life ruled by fear of loss and disconnection; yet, my coping strategy was to create distance and isolation. Funny, that I thought it made sense to lock myself up in a prison of my own making, rather than be locked up and forgotten by others.
Living by fear created that emotional roller coaster. Holding myself away from the connection I most wanted created the turmoil and struggle inside me.
Then a magical thing happened. I was educated to the reality that I was not governed by my feelings, automatically and uncontrollably. I was shown that, in fact, there was a process that was occurring all the time; a process by which I actually had the power to choose how I react. I learned that what I had been doing up to this point was opting out of my choice, defaulting to my old behavior patterns – which weren’t working for me.
And, here’s another one of those times when change can be simple, but not easy. It was tough to get out of those ruts of behavior; to recognize and consider my choices; for others to get comfortable with me making different choices and behaving differently.
Hard and challenging; but so worthwhile.
In many ways, I feel the fairy tale has come true. I am often filled with peace, and recognize and feel the love and connection all around me. I am understanding of the changing, flexible reality of what any of us may feel is right and true.
Sure, I still have fear; but, I’m most likely to name it and address it, rather than avoid and deny it. I still feel conflict and disagreement with others; but, I’m better at understanding and appreciating when a person is standing in her/his truth, even when it’s different than mine.
How did I discover the peaceful soul that was always somewhere within me? It’s a lot of things, but I guess it started with identifying that desire within me, dreaming about it, then expressing it – first, here in my Morning Pages, then with Loved Ones I trust.
Even as far away as it seemed, by acknowledging that pure, truthful desire within me, it helped me navigate in that direction. Helped me find teachers and guides to help me understand and see the path. Helped me believe – in the dream, and in myself.
I don’t see moving toward my goal as a peaceful soul as a win or triumph. It was a necessity; it was about rescuing my Life.
I am so grateful to every soul that has touched my Life and helped me learn. And, thank you, Great Guide!
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