Good Morning, Loving Creator!
I’m still tired, Dear Universe, and need more rest, but I got to bed earlier last night and got a full night’s sleep. As I sit here, looking out on the day, its peace and restful nature offers itself to me. The morning air is cool, the angle of light so interesting; the birds are chirping, and all around, nature is budding and greening up. I could sit and breathe in this peace, let this restful nature soak into my bones.
What I think I need is right here, offered to me. Will I choose it?
It so often comes down to our choices. Do we choose what we need?
Often, we get confused about what we “need.” Instead of recognizing our simple needs of food, clothing, a roof over our family’s head, and a means to provide for all that, we begin to believe we need a certain type of house in a certain type of neighborhood, a specific type of job, with the right status, prestige, and salary.
And, we lose track of our other basic needs – to rest, to relax, to connect, to enjoy the love and companionship of others, to travel and learn, to play, to create, and to creatively express ourselves. Or, we recognize these needs, but we give them lower priority, or fear that “indulging ourselves” in these needs will sacrifice all our more important and certain “needs,” like that specific job and perfect house.
Our body is pretty good at telling us what it needs – like letting us know when we are hungry, or my body telling me that I need more rest. We’re used to ignoring and overriding what our body has to tell us, and we cloud the messages with indulgences and addictions that confound the process.
It’s true that when we put certain chemicals in our body, our brain will begin to crave them, and there is a physiological withdrawal response when we don’t get it. This happens with nicotine, caffeine, alcohol, sugar, and many other agents.
And, maybe there’s some mental and physiological similarity to our belief that we “need” a certain job, or a certain type of life. Mentally and physically, there’s suffering, to go through a change.
That makes me think of the caterpillar’s metamorphosis into the butterfly. That can’t be easy – to go into the chrysalis, where the caterpillar literally dissolves into “bug soup,” in order to transform, and re-form, as the butterfly.
We can’t skip the hard parts. In order to change, we have to choose differently. And, that can be scary, it can make us uncomfortable, it can alienate us from the people who were comfortable with our old caterpillar-self.
It’s our choice.
Sometimes, though, we’ll blame anybody and everybody else first – “my boss is making me work the weekend, the mortgage the bank gave me is killing me, my kids’ sports schedules have me running around crazy all week.”
Or, we’ll use the realization that we have ownership for the choices in our life as reason to condemn, blame, and punish ourselves for the past choices we’ve made, and our ongoing struggle to make different choices. “I should meditate more.” “I should quit this job.” “I don’t spend enough time with my kids and husband.” “I’m too involved in my children’s lives.” “I should work out more.” When we do this, we end up putting more energy into self-blame and self-criticism than into making any change. That’s always a good indication that our lizard is involved and trying to keep us small.
To be clear, I do all this, too. I know I’m tired, and I know what I need to do; I need to rest and relax, and I hope to spend time creating for my coaching practice, writing, playing, or just spending time outdoors soaking up that peaceful nature. Yet, if I’m offered extended hours or another work shift, I know it means a bigger paycheck, and I struggle to say no. Because, I need the bigger paycheck; right?
Tomorrow, though, I did say no. I will be here resting, playing, and creating. Contact me, and we can chat!
So, here’s a Prompt for you to try:
In today’s writing, do you recognize yourself and your own struggle with how you define your needs?
Make a list of your top twenty needs. Next, go through and rank them 1-20. Then go through and note whether each need is: care for (S)elf, care for (O)thers, or something to (B)etter your lifestyle.
Notice which style most of your needs are. What styles are your top five needs? Did you realize you were putting so much focus and effort in these areas? How is that working for you?
Help me, Dear Guides, to make courageous, healthy choices toward Love and Connection!
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