May 19, 2016—Day 139 (WD 420)

by | May 20, 2016 | Sunrise Pages

Sunrise Pages May

Delicious, Dear Universe!

This morning has scattered clouds, diffused light, a great variety of birds’ calls, and birds flitting about in the rich green burst around the neighborhood.

Yesterday, too, was a full, joyful day, in many ways.  I started by writing the day’s Sunrise Pages, which I will type up this morning following this writing.  I then had a powerful, productive conversation with my coaching buddy, Jeannine, where we played with the idea of tearing up rules that are holding us back, and writing new rules that serve us and help us claim our Power and Purpose – Yay Jeannine!

I then came back home and typed up and posted the Pages from the previous day.  I also chose to share that post on a weekly feature of posts on the MBI Facebook page.  It may not seem like much, but I recognize that as a courageous act for me.

Next, I tackled a rather clogged bathroom sink, cleaning that out and getting it to drain well again.  Again – no big deal, yet a triumph for me.

I also cleaned up a bunch of old emails, and then I prepared for my kayaking adventure.

This was my first time kayaking on open water.  We paddled at our class site on the Connecticut River.  I was joined by my ODS (Outdoor Discovery School) leader, who is the fellow who hired me; and his girlfriend also joined us.  It was unnerving at first, to feel the current and wind moving the kayak sideways; yet, by the end of our hour or so of paddling, I felt a lot more comfortable.  Great thanks to them for sharing their time on a beautiful afternoon, so that I could gain some practice and experience.

I’m meeting up with my leader at a different pond today, where he’s leading a loon watch paddle.  I’m excited about the prospect of paddling in different water, and hopefully spotting some nesting and baby loons.  I may also get the chance to observe the management of adverse weather for an outing, because the forecast is calling for a chance of showers and/or possible thunderstorms.  Surely, something else I look forward to learning and experiencing.

Lastly, I left yesterday’s paddling site, and, with the little bit of daylight left, I decided to search for today’s pond, just so I would know where it is and how long it would take to get there.  It was a lovely ride, really out there, and I caught a glimpse, two separate times, of the white-tailed rump of a deer crossing the dirt road just ahead.  And, cruising with the window down, the peepers were filling the night air by all the wetlands and water holes.  Magical!

I found satisfaction yesterday.  A lot of it.  Ultimately, I attribute that to releasing my fear of judgment, thereby not pressuring myself to be perfect.  When I relax, I open myself to the unknown, accept the butterflies I feel, trust the help and encouragement of the people with whom I have surrounded myself, and I have fun, play, and learn new things.

Because, here’s the thing – when I worry about appearances, and about being perfect or really good, so that I’m deemed worthy; I’m so uptight and stressed – and hiding, not myself – that I struggle through it all.

When I am open and loose, when I am myself, and I release the need to be good – like yesterday – that frees me, and I really enjoy what I’m doing, which enables me to learn and get comfortable even faster.

 

Here’s a Prompt to play with:

Re-write the Rules –

Make a list of ten (or more) rules that you live by.  Maybe it’s something like “I’m too old to learn something new” or “I’m not talented enough to paint.”

Pick one of your rules and write it out on a piece of paper.  Next, take that piece of paper and tear it in a bunch of tiny pieces.

Now, write yourself a new rule that serves you more.  For example – “I’ll never be too old to learn something new” or “I don’t need talent to paint, as long as I enjoy myself.”

Repeat your new rule to yourself when you go to bed tonight, and when you wake tomorrow.

For extra credit, do this with each rule you wrote down that doesn’t serve you.  Rewrite your whole rule list, and post it someplace powerful, to remind you of your New Rules.

 

New rules, new life, and deep, connected living.  Yes, Dear Guides.  Yes!