Good Morning, Dear Creator!
Greetings to another new day! The sky is overcast, but it’s supposed to burn off and be another steamy day in the 80’s.
The heat breaks tomorrow, with rain most of the day and temperatures in the 60’s. That should make it interesting for our kayaking classes on the river tomorrow.
My Guides, it’s been a full week, for certain. I instructed my first kayak classes on Monday, created and launched my Bewilderment Book Club on Wednesday, moved and loaded a lot of boats at work yesterday, and finally got out to paddleboard on the river yesterday evening, as people tried out our kayaks and SUP’s for Demo Day.
My only day off from in-store and ODS this week was Wednesday, which I filled by attending the elementary school musical, and then creating and launching my Book Club page.
Thankfully, I’ve been getting to bed earlier, and I think that helps. And, I like the physical tiredness I feel, certainly from my hours paddling, as well as moving and loading people’s boats.
I wonder, my Dear Guides – am I just not used to living so fully? Before now, I think I tended to leave a lot more space, and to not commit to things, fearing I would be overwhelmed. In truth, I think that was also an avoidance strategy, a fear of being discovered as imperfect.
I’ve felt stressed and overloaded before – often related to working a lot of hours at my former gig at a retail pharmacy. I believed I had to, for various poor reasons – I wanted to be seen as worthy, dedicated, and needed; I told myself I needed the money from the extra hours; and, I told myself I was “better,” because I was suffering and self-sacrificial.
Back then, I believed the only path to honor and worth for me was through suffering. So, I needed to believe I was suffering.
I’m more aware, these days, of my self-care. My life, as a result, feels more satisfying. My work in-store is a little less fulfilling, and it’s tougher on my body, physically, with so much standing. But, it’s delivered to me this new and exciting adventure as a paddlesport instructor. So, for that I’m thankful.
I’ve shared the allegory before, about the Two Wolves. That we each have within us a Bad Wolf, who is selfish, mean, and afraid, causing a lot of suffering for us, and those around us; and, a Good Wolf, who is kind, caring, and peaceful, promoting unity and compassion. The Wolf that we feed will be the Wolf that will thrive within us.
I feel like I’ve been feeding my Good Wolf. My life is full, satisfying, and peaceful. I’m not rushing around, hectic and overwhelmed, but I feel that I’m doing more, and it’s more worthwhile, soul-satisfying stuff than ever before in my life.
Dear One, my life has become a story of transformation. I never thought it could possibly happen to me, that I could arrive at a place of peace and contentment.
I hoped, and I wished – doubting the whole way. Yet, one turtle step after another, I’ve moved from living in a small, closed-off world of fear out into an open, expansive Universe of Light and Love.
It was here the whole time, of course. I just had to learn to think a little differently, and see things a little differently, day-by-day. And, this Loving Universe waited for me the whole time.
My Prompt for Today:
Reflect on The Two Wolves in your life. Can you see where you are feeding the Bad Wolf instead of nurturing your Good Wolf? Can you see which actions, which choices you make, that are driven by fear?
Choose Love, not Fear.
Every day is a Blessing, Dear Creator. Thanks for your Guidance, my Spirit Guides!
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