Blessings, Dear Creator!
What an amazingly clear morning it is – not a cloud in the brilliant blue sky, and not a breath of a breeze – everything is so still. What does today hold for me? What might today bring?
I slept well last night, being good-tired after my long day on the water. And I went to bed relatively early, so I got a good amount of sleep; but, I feel I could have slept a couple more hours, I think, if I hadn’t wanted to start my day and write these pages before I go in to work in-store today. Last night’s Sleep Scale: 4/5.
I’ve been focusing on my understanding of failure – how I define it and think about it; what that means to me; how I dread and try to avoid it; and, afterward, how I’ve responded and moved through it…or not.
I think this work that I’ve been doing around failure has had an unexpected effect – it has left me a bit unbalanced and disoriented.
Dear One, have you ever had the experience where you’re not looking or not able to look at the ground directly ahead of you, and there’s suddenly a step down that you didn’t expect? There’s that moment of surprise, and perhaps alarm, when all of the weight and momentum you were carrying forward doesn’t stop at the point you expected it to stop.
There’s that moment of free-fall, where the ground is not where you expected it, and you’re reality has been shattered; but, also, you realize you aren’t even sure where the ground actually is. Your body didn’t stop, and you’re now moving out-of-balance and unknowing.
All that, in a split second.
Thinking of my classes yesterday, I was carrying the concern of failure going into the day. But, as the classes proceeded, they weren’t perfection, by any means; but, I find myself finding many positives to focus on, which really seems to minimize the imperfections.
In that way, though, I feel unbalanced by the absence of self-criticism and –condemnation of mistakes and failure. Don’t get me wrong – I think it’s a good thing. It’s just that moment of surprise and disorientation. It’s definitely something I want to practice in order to become comfortable. It’s a nice place to be.
For you, Dear Pilgrim, a Prompt:
Do you spend time replaying and reviewing your day? Maybe you’ve done it as I used to do, noticing and criticizing all the things that I had done wrong, that I should have done better.
Self-criticism and self-condemnation is an unhealthy habit, and one that takes some time and practice to change.
Review can be healthy and beneficial, but we need to frame it in a constructive way. In reviewing your day, when you look at parts that didn’t go as smoothly as you hoped, notice what you would like to do differently next time, while you avoid condemning yourself for what didn’t work this time. Focus on it as learning.
Then, end your review by really focusing on what worked and went right, reviewing the positives of what you shared, experienced, and learned.
Enjoying this new free-fall feeling, My Dear Guides!
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