Home, Dear Creator!
We are home, slept in our own bed last night, and awoke to our familiar view and a deep, heavy fog in our valley this morning.
There’s a mixed feeling, for me, in being home. Some people feel a real sense of comfort and familiarity in returning home, and I have a small sense of that. More so, though, I felt more freedom while we were away – to write, to explore, and to indulge in creative expression.
I sit this morning and try to invoke my writing muse, because there’s a timeline in force. I have an urgency to get this written, and then post a blog piece before I have to get ready for work at 10 a.m.
While I was away, I felt more freedom to write, and I actually spent Saturday morning writing that day’s Sunrise Pages, and then typing up a few days’ Pages, preparing them for posting.
This, to me, is one of the fundamental struggles with this idea of living in integrity. My mind says that I don’t have the luxury to indulge in a practice of full integrity.
I tell myself I can’t keep writing just because I want to write, or even if I have something worthwhile and valuable to write. That won’t pay the bills. I’m needed and expected at work, so I have to go.
And, when I’m at work, I have a role to play – to meet certain expectations, please and connect with customers, and get along and work well with my co-workers.
That has often felt like a duty, like a mask I’ve worn, which makes for exhausting, stressful work. Martha Beck calls it multiplicity.
What if we could be the same, authentic true self in all our encounters and interactions? It sounds lovely, but seems dangerous and vulnerable.
Martha identifies our ego as that source of our fears for which we lie about and hide our true self, in order to be liked and accepted. She encourages us to focus on our sense of integrity, and the feelings of freedom we receive when we are in our integrity.
So, here’s a Prompt, Dear One:
It’s a valuable step to examine how many roles we play in our life, and to acknowledge how often and in how many different ways we modify our thoughts, actions, and behavior, based on the roles we are playing.
Think about how exhausting it can be to keep straight the rules to each role we play.
Make a list describing the relationship roles you play with different people. Then, write a description of how each differs from the others, and from who you really are.
Being one consistent, true self. I’m curious, and hopeful, to see how that can work. Needing guidance, Dear Guides!
Recent Comments