Dear Reader,
I am again choosing to pre-empt the order of these Sunrise Pages to post my writing from yesterday, about my experience viewing the film The Mask You Live In. Thank you.
Bright Horizons, Dear Universe!
Dark, thick storm clouds cover most of the sky this morning, yet there is a small gap on the eastern horizon, where a bright yellow dawn blazes. It seems to me like an optimistic way to start the day.
After work yesterday, I went to a film screening offered by WISE, a local organization working to end gender-based violence. The movie, The Mask You Live In, narrates the struggle for boys and young men in American culture to be good men while negotiating the pressure to meet our society’s definition of masculinity.
I am so grateful for this film; this discourse. It’s exciting, to me, that there’s a conversation beginning that explores this struggle between the constant signals telling us what it means to be a “real man” – strength, domination, fearlessness, anger; and what resides under our mask – fear, doubt, and vulnerability; kindness and compassion; and a need for love and connection.
The Trump tape that emerged during the campaign cracked open a whole new conversation about mistreatment of women by men.
This is difficult, uncomfortable territory. I saw it again last night – when we do talk about it, we deflect it away – boys are faced with these messages growing up; young men face peer pressure to show masculinity, not weakness; coaches have a unique opportunity to model a new definition of masculinity; as parents and role models, we need to have conversations about these pressures our kids face.
I get it. That’s all true. But, here’s the thing – we all face the pressure and the effects.
I struggle with it. I try to live the life of a good man, but I struggle with the lifetime of messages I’ve received about masculinity.
This conversation is just beginning, but I don’t think we get very far when we won’t confront the mask that we, ourselves, wear.
I struggle and am uncomfortable with people who are different from me because of gender, race, or beliefs. I wish I wasn’t, but I’ve had a lifetime of messages teaching me to be uncomfortable and to act a certain way, and that it’s the fault of the other person, those people who are different from me.
I am striving to be aware, and to choose differently.
Today’s Prompt:
Dear One, here’s an exercise for you – take a sheet of paper and draw a vertical line down the middle. Label one column “Masculine” and the other “Feminine.”
Then, take ten minutes and write as many words as you can under each label.
When you are done, take a look at the words you’ve used to describe your picture of masculine and feminine.
Consider how it makes you feel when you see a woman demonstrating traits that you feel are masculine, or a man with feminine traits.
Does it make you uncomfortable? What do you do in those situations?
Beginning a powerful conversation. Thank you, My Guides! And, thank you, WISE!
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