Some Questions

by | Feb 5, 2022 | gratitude, Life Coaching

So, here’s a series of questions that I invite you to take a moment and ponder: 

  • What brightens your life?
  • What consistently brings you a sense of joy?
  • What allows you to relax your shoulders and unclench your jaw?
  • What makes you smile?
  • What helps you breathe easy, take a deep inhalation, and feel lighter?
  • Do you have something that consistently gets you excited to wake up and start each day?
  • Do you regularly feel filled up, satisfied, and grateful?

Now, maybe you don’t feel any quick or easy answers coming to you for these questions. Before you quit reading, please take a full, deep breath, and allow yourself to feel your feet flat on the ground.  I want to invite you to stick with me as we go a bit further.

Let’s face it—Things have been tough! We’re two long years (and counting) into a pandemic. And, here in the United States, we’ve been facing the worst levels of division, inequality, and ongoing threat to our democracy in our lifetimes.

The feelings of heartbreak, heaviness, and sadness can seem so unrelenting, and even dangerous, like the crashing waves of the ocean. Too often, we get overwhelmed and reactionary, simply lashing out as each wave hits us and pushes us anywhere and everywhere.

Sometimes escape seems like the only answer, the only relief. So, lots of folks are numbing out and tuning out—distracting with technology like social media, screen time, and video streaming; or self-medicating with things like alcohol, drugs, food, or porn.

The problem is that these are only temporary fixes, and, frankly, they usually make us feel ashamed and worse about ourselves in the long run. Which just makes everything worse.

So, is there a better answer?

There is. But the truth is it’s not quick or easy. But it can be pretty simple.

Take another look at those questions at the top. Sit with each one and think of it this way: even if you don’t have an answer in the present, think back and remember an answer from a previous version of you.

  • Remember a time when there was that really special thing (or person) that brightened your life.
  • Remember back when something really made you joyful.
  • Remember a time when you did feel full-body relaxation.
  • Bring a memory from your past to mind that makes you smile, even now.
  • Remember a time that you did feel freedom, lightness, and delight.
  • Remember one time when you were excited to wake up the next morning.
  • Remember a time when you felt truly, fully grateful.

Remembering, AND FEELING, in our bodies, those sensations of joy, excitement, relaxation, and gratitude are a necessary interruption from the stress and overwhelm that we’re feeling way too often. Interrupting the negativity loop can be the first step to shifting how we are seeing things and feeling about our life. There is a mental rewiring that can take place as we build a positive feedback loop based on those experiences of joy, excitement, relaxation, and gratitude; but, it requires a consistent practice of interrupting the negative and instead choosing to anchor in these positive emotions.

Now listen, I’m not talking about becoming a Pollyanna. This isn’t about denying the ugly and sad stuff that is happening in our world. People are dying and the world is on fire. But, you need to find positive places to dwell, with your attention and attitude. Maybe limit listening to the news to just one part of your day, and the other times listen to your music jams more. Start reading more books that inspire you and lift you up, rather than books that scare you and break your heart.

It’s about little steps, repeated over and over.

Feeling better is attainable. Some of it has to do with mindset and what we believe and understand about the world around us. And a lot of it has to do with the choices we make with the things we can control, but also how we choose to react to the things we can’t control.

I help people get mindful and curious, to begin opening up again to their feelings and emotions, and to remember their joy. From there, I help them consistently repeat the healthy patterns that rewire their brains and beliefs and help them consistently feel better.  This starts to anchor their lives in joy and gratitude. And that brings them to a path of purpose that delivers satisfaction and fulfillment!

I hope you and I will be headed there soon!