It Depends: Two Views of a Week That Was

Last week was quite the week for me. 

Monday, the 23rd, I attended a live indoor event, my first since the COVID pandemic began. Vaccines, boosters, and masks were required for all attendees, but I recognized that I was still a bit anxious, and I had been most of the day. Mind you, I have always had a degree of social anxiety anyway, so it was no wonder that I would still feel it. It’s not like two years of isolation would just dissolve it (if only!).

At the event, there were mentions of the mass shooting in Buffalo, and we held a moment of silence.

It was a late night, much later than my usual, and was compounded by poor sleep and waking early.

Tuesday my heart was breaking from the news of the Uvalde school shooting.

Wednesday my heart remained heavy thinking about George Floyd’s murder two years ago. It was also the twelfth anniversary of my father’s death.

All week since Monday I felt drained of energy and soul essence. All week I have wondered about all the pain and hurt in the world. I have been sad. 

And yet…

I’ve also gone running three times this week, which has helped me clear my mind and connect with my body. Running gives me a sense of accomplishment; of rising to a challenge. There is a sense of dedication and follow through, in service to my health and my future.

I also stacked the cord of wood that was delivered, in preparation for next winter’s cold. Again, I feel reward in doing this physical work in service to my family’s warmth and wellness.

I cleaned our home, the bathrooms and kitchen, and I washed, dried, and folded laundry in loving service for my family.

I led coaching sessions, including some Strategy Sessions for new folks who had signed up to learn more about me and my coaching. It’s always rewarding when I’m able to share my gifts of coaching in the service of helping others to heal and grow. 

Saturday of Memorial Day weekend, my wife and I stopped in to see some family as we traveled to visit the graves of her parents. She planted flowers for her parents and grandparents, and then we wandered through the cemetery looking for other ancestors. It was peaceful and nurturing, to walk the land and spend time in reflection.

Then this Monday we caught a glimpse of an adult gray fox emerging from a bush in our yard; just as quickly, it was gone. I even wondered if I had actually seen it or just imagined it. Luckily, my wife saw it, too. I kept checking back but didn’t see it again that day and began to believe the fox was just passing through.

You see, in 2019 we first spotted a gray fox family, some kits and two adults, right in our yard for about a week before they apparently moved on. In part, I suspect that it was the busyness of our lives at the time that kept us from seeing more of them.

Then, with the lockdown of 2020, while we were stuck at home like everybody else, we found ourselves really appreciating the time we now had to observe the nature around us. In early spring, before leaves developed, we were able to spy an adult fox couple exploring the woods behind our home. Soon enough there were four furry little kits nursing from mom and chasing one another. Day by day they grew bigger and bolder. Dad began to bring prey for everybody to eat, even though the kits were just as likely to play with the food or chase their siblings for it. Eventually they began to join dad on little hunting excursions.

I can’t quite explain why, but sharing in this fox family’s journey and witnessing these kits growing up felt like one of the most magical experiences of my life. Such a gift.

So, there was indeed an audible “Whoop!” when we spotted four kits in the yard at the edge of the woods on Tuesday morning, with Mom resting on a fallen log but keeping a protective eye on them.

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My point in sharing all of this is that if I had let the weight and pain of the week stop me, I wouldn’t have been available or awake to the richness that was also within reach. It’s not like one version of the week was right and the other wrong, or that one was more true than the other.

Life is often messy and complicated. It can hurt us and knock us to our knees. But it can be breathtakingly beautiful, too. We can be amazed and believe that we are witness to the divine. Love is an example of how we can feel our heart laid completely wide open, and even in that moment sense how vulnerable that makes us.

Navigating the challenges of life, the ups and downs, is some of the toughest work we will face. And it isn’t easy to face those challenges alone; to persevere and remember who we want to be, and why.

In my coaching, I help anchor you to your values and who you want to be. I can act as a counterbalance so that you don’t get thrown completely off-course when a rogue wave catches you flat-footed. I will reflect back to you the best that is inside you, the good that you have done and are doing, and the power that you hold within you.

You have the power to change. The change is within you. I can help you make that change and achieve your dreams.

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If this message speaks to you, and you want to work together to begin creating change and movement in your life, check out my Programs Page.

Also, if you know someone you think could benefit from this message, please share it with them.

And if you have more questions about my coaching and how it can help you, sign up for a free Strategy Session.

Until Next Time,

Ray